how to define????

IF jealous is define as hurt.........then i can say IM jealous.......
If hurt make people cry......then Im hurt........
If cry mean i care.....then i really care and think too much.....
I deserved to have all this challenge in my life........thanx GOD for the arrangement.....
Im happy....rally happy....happy when hanging around with all friends.....
I dun like alone......I dun like people not frenly......
Why they want to treat me tat way......i never hurt them before ...i treat them more than myself....
They reply me with ignore me when they got thing hanging around? they left me when the guy ask them out? they even switch off phone when then chatting with a guy that they dun like?
WAt the............
even the deep frenship, she dun want? ...........Am i the one too stupid for care this frenship?
maybe this is the real world....i shud learn to be more cruel.....
Yes...fine........try to challenge me and see.....Today, i really will fight bck....